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Thursday
Sep062007

She is Amused

In this morning's meditation, as in many other meditations,  I had the sensation of being far, far away from this earth, from my ego, from  all the "things" associated with my daily life and yet I could still hear the clock ticking beside me, birds singing in the yard, the air conditioning kicking on, someone in the house getting up to use the bathroom;  I could still feel my breath as it went in and out,  a little stiffness in my back, and an itchy place on my nose. The difference was, the "me" that was experiencing those things was not the me that I generally associate myself with-- no, this was a more expansive me, what some call the witness, the higher self  or the transcendental self.  While she can fully experience my ego's world, and does so with what I can only describe as immense amusement and fascination, yet absolute detachment,  I am not privy to her world or at least am afforded only a very limited exposure to it during meditation.  I can offer no real description for that world because it is nothing like ours. I can only tell you what it is not.

Our world has constant movement , that world is stiller than still.  Our world is structured around time, that world is timeless.  Our world is full of the dense energy of egos jockeying with other egos for power, money, fame, status-- none of those things exist in that other world.  I think this is why I sense amusement in my witness. I get the sensation of being very small  in a very large petri dish which is part of some amazing cosmic experiment.  When I identify with my ego I remain in that dish and get smaller and smaller, when I identify myself with my witness (whoever she is) I feel a part of everything in the universe.  How astounding, then, that I allow my ego to call the shots so much of the time!

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